July 4, 2009

July 4 2009, how could it be here and gone already. The last time that Daryn watched the fire works over Bitely lake was July 4, 2007. They were truly spetacular that year. We were all so thrilled with the display. I remember it like it was a second ago. I see her smile. I remember I wanted to make sure we saw them good so we all (Joe and Kim, Daryn, Colin, Jolee, grandpa and me) we climbed on the paddle boat, almost sinking it, and there we watched them ,wow. I so many times think that if I had only known that would be the last time. I think that but I know I could not have known and remained sane. Ironically, last year there were no fireworks at all! I think that the display of 2007 was just for Daryn. God how I miss her. This year Jim, Mindy and Kaila and Caden joined us at the lake. We did have fun and yes there was some fireworks. Bitter sweet always bittersweet. I thank God for Daryn's cousins. They all love her so and will always carry her with them. They are precious, family is precious. And so we all go on. For me, grandma it is all inside but I make myself carry on and I do have joy but my dear God I miss her so and love her so, it never really goes away, it just gets covered up for a time. So I love up and enjoy my family and pray that we will never go through this again. A grandmas heart.