SMILE for Daryn

Don't cry because it's over.
Smile because it happened.
Dr. Seuss

A picture of Daryn's family cat that she loved so....... Willow
(with Dr. Seuss I was thinking, The Cat in the Hat, that is why I added a picture of Daryn's cat)

Of course IT is not over, but it is a loss greater than words could ever say. Sometimes we focus too much on the loss and don't sit back to realize what a blessing and gift Daryn was and still IS to our family.

If we could turn back time and change events, in an instant we would, without a doubt.
We can't.
Today I choose to smile because of Daryn being such a special part of my life.
I know we can't smile every day, because the reality is too real and too painful.
But, for today, I choose to smile, and thank God for this gift.

I often think about how much I focus on the future with my own kids. I sometimes think......... I can't wait for when they are old enough to play basketball in High School. Or I can't wait for when they are old enough to walk to their friends house. I can't wait for the day I feel OK with them riding their bike around the block. Or I can't wait to see what profession they choose. I can't wait to see their dance recital. Or I can't wait until they can tie their shoes............................. I just can't wait.

I spend so much time thinking about these future events that I don't take time to enjoy today. The dance recital that was just displayed on the kitchen floor. The talk we had last night about "..... so we can talk to God anytime?" . The moment when my son wrapped his arms around me and said "I don't want you to fall mom"........ The argument between my kids over who gets the last cookie (although unpleasant, it ended in a lesson on sharing). All of these moments that happen every day........... I just want to enjoy these "every day moments" more and stop focusing on the future. Because my children also are a gift to me.

I guess part of it is thinking about Daryn and all of the things we thought that she would accomplish in her life (and trust me they would have been great!). So the grief this family feels is not only for the 10 year old girl we all knew and loved, but for all of the things her family had thought about and talked with her about in regard to her bright future. She was such an awesome person! She wasn't just a kid, she was a person, and a very special one I might add.

What I have learned from this is to really focus on today and not tomorrow. Be thankful for TODAY, it is a gift! It's fun to look to our future and make plans, but the only thing we truly know we have is, today.

I believe although terrible things happen in the lives of those we love, God is still the one in control, and we can't fathom the plans he has for us. The one thing I do know is that the life we live on this Earth is just the very beginning. Let us live our life to praise him and thank him in ALL that we do.

I challenge each of you to enjoy every moment with your families, even if some of these are unpleasant. Sit back and let it sink in, because who knows what tomorrow will bring.
Enjoy the moments of each day.

Daryn's Aunt Mindy

Just grandma talking

I haven't written in a while. I have been wanting to share what happened to me the day after our coming together at Daryn's grave on the anniversary of her entering heaven.

I came back to clean up and pick up candles etc. The first thing I noticed was that the blue candle in the glass jar was still burning and it was burning clean without a speck of black soot in it. I was rather in awe of that. Well then I picked up and then stood over her looking down and was telling her how much I love her and missed her when looking down I saw a beautiful red dragonfly on my knee. I just stopped and said "Oh Daryn, I know that you love me too."I will say honestly that I have never in my life seen so many beautiful colorful red and royal blue and purple and other colors of dragonflys as I did last year. I will take it as Gods gift to us and I thank Him. I think that if I pay attention and look and be open that God tries to comfort me. I just need to try to stay open to it. So many people blessed me this weekend and they don't even know it. I call them my messengers unaware. Thank you again God. I guess when you are at the bottom of the pit then He sends in the troops.

Mindy brought the Christmas tree from school to our house and set it in the living room and plugged in the beautiful blue lights. So many beautiful ornaments and messages on it from her friends. In such an short time she was loved at Coopersville. No surprise to me because she was love personified in a little blonde girl with huge blue eyes and a smile that could light the world. Well I of course cried a lot by that beautiful tree but I have grown to love it. At our family Christmas celebration, we helped all the kids make ornaments with a note to Daryn glued inside just from them to her. Aunt Holly hung them on the tree. I had written a little prayer to say after all of the ornaments had been hung but couldn't do it as we had a real hard time when Joe came to drop off Colin and Jolee. So I think I will write it now.
Father God, Dearest Jesus, Holy Spirit,
Help us to celebrate the birth of Jesus, our Saviour, with Daryn's spirit of love and happiness, ready for fun with each other, our family, everyone that she loved so much. Wrap you arms around Joe and Kim this afternoon, and bless them and let them feel our love for them. Now Daryn is with Jesus, the greatest lover of all. So if she is with Jesus now then she is with us now too because Jesus is with us. So dear Lord Jesus, lift us up and hold us high in your love until we are all together in Heaven with You. So in Daryn's spirit we will celebrate Christmas today, the birth of our saviour. Amen

I would love to say that I am healing. I probably am but don't feel it. I will say that I am very thankful to God for the little gifts that He gives me. My life is forever changed and it will be a long time before I find myself again I think. I miss that little girl in so many ways. It seems that I have a hole in my soul and I think that in time God will fill it up. I have a big family that I love and must live for them. I think Daryn would scold me for a lot of things right now. She would set me straight I'm sure. Peace and love to all that reads this. Oh and I wanted to say that Aunt Mindy has obviously been touched by the holy spirit in setting up this blog and the things that she has shared. Thank you Mindy, another one of God's messengers.

If you read the previous post this will make better sense; but also just another awesome parallel to humanity that helps us to understand the process of life, the miracle that God created, I stand in awe!


"The dragonfly begins its life as an egg. Adult female dragonflies lay their eggs in water. After about two weeks, the eggs hatch and an immature dragonfly, or nymph, emerges. The nymphs are not pretty like the adults. They have tiny wings and a large lower lip, which they use to catch their prey (often mosquito larvae). Dragonfly nymphs live in the water. As they grow, they molt (shed their skin). Nymphs of some species may take as long as three years to mature. When the dragonfly nymph reaches maturity, it crawls out of the water onto a plant stem. Then its skin begins to split. First the head, then the thorax, then the legs, and then the wings of an adult dragonfly emerge. Soon the newly emerged dragonfly is able to fly. The process takes about two hours. It takes about two days before the adult dragonfly's beautiful colors are fully developed. Adult dragonflies live only a few months."

info from the below website:
http://entertainment.webshots.com/photo/2480486740015598663Xguswh

Daryn Renee's Dragonfly

The Dragonfly: the symbol that has showed up over and over to Daryn's loved ones, actually it was a red one that returned several times.......................

"In Will Campbell's book, Brotherhood Dragonfly
He tells why dragonflies hover above the lakes/ponds. They do it, the story goes, because they come from the lake............. and their brothers and sisters are still there, worried about what happened when they left. They are trying to get back to tell them how wonderful it is to fly................"

(there is more to it I would recommend listening to what the man says, very insightful)
from:
http://keylife.org/
click on archives "thinkspot"
from 1/6/09

(Thanks for sharing Grandpa Rich, who heard this on the radio on his way home yesterday, apparently Kim also heard it on her way home)


The beautiful dragonfly that she drew, the dragonflies that have visited Joe and Kim and my Mom, wow , what a beautiful irony in listening to this...............

I always feel that she is trying to let us feel that she fine, actually, better than we could ever imagine. Not to take away any of the real pain that her family feels, because I know that it is real, I see it in Joe and Kim's souls, they are forever altered because of the pain of the loss, it is immense. But our God has a bigger plan and a better plan and I can't wait for it to come to fruition.

Another little story I wanted to share......... On my birthday I went to get a tattoo, on the inside of my left foot. I wanted to do something to help me think of Daryn, so I got a star with blue shading (Daryn's color). Then I got 2 other just plain black outline stars, one for each of my kids. Everyone always asks me if it hurt, and my answer has always been the first, blue star didn't hurt at all, but the other 2 hurt immensely!!!! Not until the other day did I realize the irony and the truth in my statement. Where Daryn is she no longer has to hurt, as the blue star that was tattooed on me did not hurt, she does not hurt, she only has to feel Love and Goodness and everything Beautiful and Wonderful that God had promised and did deliver to her. While the other 2 stars hurt, seriously about as intensely as childbirth (no I am not kidding).......... which because my kids are still human they still have and feel pain, and hurt and broken-heartedness, and loss.

We Hurt for now.

Daryn is pain-free for eternity.

For me there is some sense of comfort in that.

I look very forward to the day that her family no longer hurts, when that they will be pain-free for eternity............... but until then we have to live this life......... and in the midst of it trust in God through ALL times, the Bad and the Good.

Love you Daryn! Your Aunt Mindy