Daryn in my dream

I think about you every day, but you have never come to me in my dreams until.....

Early this morning you came through our front door in a red dress your beautiful smile and long blond hair to meet Taiylor before school. It wasn't strange, it was as if you had never left.

I believe dreams are messages from God, and my interpretation of this dream was, Daryn standing beside Taiylor and helping Taiylor on her journey of life. Thank God you are around her, she still needs lots of guidance on this roller coaster ride called "Life" I'm sure with God and you watching out for her she couldn't be in better hands.

Lots of Love Aunt Wendy

Renew our Strength

I am praying and hoping that my family will have a renewal of strength as we wait upon the Lord. We all have work to do here, and time is limited. Certain days and times of the year are definitely more difficult than others. As school begins it holds deep sadness. It should be such an exciting time of the year, but there is this underlying sad and emotional feeling I harbor. I can't imagine what that feeling is like for Daryn's family. I just hope that Colin and Jolee will be able to enjoy this school year. I would imagine Joe and Kim must find it so difficult to send their children off to school (let alone anywhere). Lord God - Please give them strength to face each day.

Daryn I love you! I know you are in the palm of God's hands............ and I know that it has to be so wonderful. Miss your blue eyes! Love you.

Isaiah 40:31
"But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength;they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run,and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint."

After 9-10

Today is Tuesday, Sept. 15 2009. Life keeps going on and on. Two years ago today my precious Daryn's body was laid to rest in Marne across from her first school. I go there but still cannot take it in. It's still so raw, so much pain. I just want to hold her. I remember on the raft at Bitely, she was sitting on my lap for some reason and she just let me hug her and love her. I think she really liked that. I miss her so much. I think that reality is trying to seep in but I try to stave it off. Reality is way too much pain for so many reasons. I feel like I am living a cardboard life, nothing is really real but I just go through the motions of it. I hope that I can find myself again but for now I am just skimming over life, getting to the next day. I put on the "I'm normal act." but I am not. Never will be. Probably as they say, a "new normal". When I saw the picture Taiylor posted with her Six Months poem and then read the poem I was so broken hearted, so many memories of the three, so much fun, so much love, my God, never knew, never had a clue, never in a million years could we have guessed that we would not always have the "three" with us, still can't imagine it, and yet we live it every day. What a loss for so many people, such a huge empty void in our family now. Always will be. I will love her forever and have a great hope of seeing her again because I know that she is home and safe and completely loved by her God and her Saviour Jesus Christ.

Grandma Sandy

6 months

Within 6 months we were 3
Didn't really make a difference
We didn't look a lot alike
But we really didn't care
I was tall
She was short
And he was somewhere in between
Our eyes were the only thing that looked alike
Silvery Blue
But no one believed that we were here for each other
Forever
It was us against the World
Our armor was our hearts
Our life was our sword
And with each other
We were an army
Of 3
We told each other we were there for each other
And if we lost 1 of us
We wouldn't know what to do
Well,
It happened
A life was taken
We breathed
We lost her
We wanted her back
But we knew we would have to fight in an army
Now of 2
But we knew
We will never be alone
Our life has changed, there's no doubt
But we found something to live for
To breath for
To wake up every morning for
And go through our lives
We do it
All for
Her
Her spirit
Her life she lived
Her memories she left
For us to
Keep
We breath
We wake
We love
HER!

by Taiylor Camp

"The Bread of Life"

Think about it, "The Bread of Life"!! We eat some source of food every day to give us energy to live within our human bodies. But God gave us the true bread of life....... that which sustains us in our true life, our EVERLASTING life. What a gift!! Daryn was on my mind this morning as we sang this song. I am so thankful that Daryn chose Jesus for her "bread"!! "I AM the Bread of Life" I am the bread of life He who comes to Me shall not hunger He who believes in Me shall not thirst No one can come to Me Unless the Father draw him And I will raise him up And I will raise him up And I will raise him up on the last day The bread that I will give Is My flesh for the life of the world And he who eats of this bread He shall live for ever He shall live for ever Unless you eat Of the flesh of the Son of Man And drink of His blood And drink of His blood You shall not have life within you

I am the resurrection I am the life He who believes in Me Even if he die He shall live for ever

© 1971 G. I. A. Publications

Just the other day I was picking up a piece of paper from Kaila's bedroom floor. I opened it to read on one side:

"Daryn"
Daryn is my cusin
I Love her

and then I turned it over and it says:

"family, Love, care, and hrt"


Sometimes my daughter helps me understand things in her 7 year old mind that I just don't understand. Hurt (or "hrt") is in the same sentence as family, Love, and care.............. You can't have one without the other. We still think about and talk about Daryn often, and always will. We will never forget her sweet, somewhat timid smile!!

As the Mills/Busman family loses their 11 year old daughter/granddaughter/niece/cousin to bacterial meningitis............. I can't help but feel a very heavy heart for them and their loss. It is so painful. Through this pain and with this pain, it is evident that Faith in Jesus Christ as our Savior gives us Hope. As Daryn loved and knew Jesus, I read in Mackenzie's obituary that she too, gave her profession of Faith just this year.

As Jesus said, My Peace I leave you My Peace I give you, what a blessing to be left with PEACE in our hearts. If you haven't already found it, please find the PEACE in your heart, it is there!! With a closer relationship with God you will find it and it WILL give you REST.

July 4, 2009

July 4 2009, how could it be here and gone already. The last time that Daryn watched the fire works over Bitely lake was July 4, 2007. They were truly spetacular that year. We were all so thrilled with the display. I remember it like it was a second ago. I see her smile. I remember I wanted to make sure we saw them good so we all (Joe and Kim, Daryn, Colin, Jolee, grandpa and me) we climbed on the paddle boat, almost sinking it, and there we watched them ,wow. I so many times think that if I had only known that would be the last time. I think that but I know I could not have known and remained sane. Ironically, last year there were no fireworks at all! I think that the display of 2007 was just for Daryn. God how I miss her. This year Jim, Mindy and Kaila and Caden joined us at the lake. We did have fun and yes there was some fireworks. Bitter sweet always bittersweet. I thank God for Daryn's cousins. They all love her so and will always carry her with them. They are precious, family is precious. And so we all go on. For me, grandma it is all inside but I make myself carry on and I do have joy but my dear God I miss her so and love her so, it never really goes away, it just gets covered up for a time. So I love up and enjoy my family and pray that we will never go through this again. A grandmas heart.