Today I was cleaning out a drawer and I saw a home made birthday card. My heart jumped a little as I wondered if it was from Daryn. I opened it up and of course it was from her. It is a beautiful card. She cut out pieces of shapes for the blossoms and the petals and beautifully glued them on the front and penned "Happy Birthday Gradma." (Her spelling) I opened up the card and she wrote " Happy Birthday to a grandma as beautiful as spring flowers!!! She signed " I love you ! Daryn. I will take that as my birthday card this year from my precious girl. My birthday is the end of April, when the flowers start to bloom. I kneeled down and cried with my heart still so broken. I love you too Daryn every day every second I love you. Their just aren't any words anymore but it's all still inside. Daryn's birthday is the day before Easter this year. It's so hard not to think how it would have been with her here with us like it should be. I love you too Daryn, thank you Daryn for the beautifurl birthday card.
Grandma S
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
A book with no pictures
I have been putting together a scrapbook the last day of things that we have drawn and written about Daryn.
Kaila was in her room working on something when she brought me a paper.
On the top she spelled Daryn in letter stickers and wrote:
DARYN
care
pray
think
Love
picsher mind
picsher
So of course I have to ask, what does "picsher mind" mean?
She responded, "It means, like when you read a book with no pictures, you can still picture her in your mind."
Which makes me think, yes Daryn is our "book with no pictures', she is in our hearts, we LOVE her, we CARE for her, we PRAY for her, we think about her we can picture her in our mind and we can look at pictures of her. All of these things, but physically she is missing from our lives.
So this list she made was the ways we can still stay connected to Daryn, even though, physically she is not with us. When we see her again, there will still be the connection. She will still be my niece, she will still be Kaila's cousin, connected through the family chain!!
I still have moments that I sit and think, I can not believe this has happened. I can't believe she is gone. I think sometimes we get busy with everyday life and then all of a sudden it hits you! It is probably hard for others to understand, but I just can't seem to wrap my mind around the fact that she is gone.
I asked Kaila what do you remember about Daryn? She said, she remembered Daryn painting her face (which the big kids did on the little kids faces for a Christmas party, they did that at Daryn's home, in her bedroom). I was happy Kaila remembered that because that is a memory that there are no pictures of. It is something she will always keep in her mind, probably because it was one of the rare times that the kids were actually sitting still. With the 12 kids, there usually wasn't much still time, they ran around, laughing, screaming and having a ball!
To have her that close in proximity to Daryn I believe helps her to remember the little details of that moment.
I often remember her standing near me the August, before, poolside, and picture her tan little body, her hands and her feet, her blonde locks of hair, blue eyes, she was a stunning looking girl! Beyond that she was stunning on the inside too, she really was. I am not saying she was perfect, because not one of us are, but she just seemed to know how to behave, how to make others feel special and how to use herself in a way that would make her parents proud of her......... and boy were they proud, but in a very humble way. Joe wouldn't brag about Daryn, but if the subject came up, I can remember him talking about her taking recorder lessons she was learning Star Wars music (of course Joe thought that was cool!). Then there was the baseball games, she was a natural in the athletic dept., Joe especially thought this was cool. His beautiful little daughter had a bit of a Tomboy side to her. She wasn't afraid to get muddy/dirty. Then there was her artistic side that was blooming, both Kim and Joe great artists, and she definitely was taking on that talent as well.
I can't imagine the loss Joe, Kim, Colin and Jolee feel on a constant basis in their lives. It is just really hard to think about and imagine!
I pray today that Daryn is showered with Love from her family. That her great grandparents that are with her right now will just BE with her until her parents arrive. I pray for her family here, that they are also showered with love from God and that they are renewed each day with a sense of HOPE that will get them through another day!
Love you Daryn!!
aunt mindy
Kaila was in her room working on something when she brought me a paper.
On the top she spelled Daryn in letter stickers and wrote:
DARYN
care
pray
think
Love
picsher mind
picsher
So of course I have to ask, what does "picsher mind" mean?
She responded, "It means, like when you read a book with no pictures, you can still picture her in your mind."
Which makes me think, yes Daryn is our "book with no pictures', she is in our hearts, we LOVE her, we CARE for her, we PRAY for her, we think about her we can picture her in our mind and we can look at pictures of her. All of these things, but physically she is missing from our lives.
So this list she made was the ways we can still stay connected to Daryn, even though, physically she is not with us. When we see her again, there will still be the connection. She will still be my niece, she will still be Kaila's cousin, connected through the family chain!!
I still have moments that I sit and think, I can not believe this has happened. I can't believe she is gone. I think sometimes we get busy with everyday life and then all of a sudden it hits you! It is probably hard for others to understand, but I just can't seem to wrap my mind around the fact that she is gone.
I asked Kaila what do you remember about Daryn? She said, she remembered Daryn painting her face (which the big kids did on the little kids faces for a Christmas party, they did that at Daryn's home, in her bedroom). I was happy Kaila remembered that because that is a memory that there are no pictures of. It is something she will always keep in her mind, probably because it was one of the rare times that the kids were actually sitting still. With the 12 kids, there usually wasn't much still time, they ran around, laughing, screaming and having a ball!
To have her that close in proximity to Daryn I believe helps her to remember the little details of that moment.
I often remember her standing near me the August, before, poolside, and picture her tan little body, her hands and her feet, her blonde locks of hair, blue eyes, she was a stunning looking girl! Beyond that she was stunning on the inside too, she really was. I am not saying she was perfect, because not one of us are, but she just seemed to know how to behave, how to make others feel special and how to use herself in a way that would make her parents proud of her......... and boy were they proud, but in a very humble way. Joe wouldn't brag about Daryn, but if the subject came up, I can remember him talking about her taking recorder lessons she was learning Star Wars music (of course Joe thought that was cool!). Then there was the baseball games, she was a natural in the athletic dept., Joe especially thought this was cool. His beautiful little daughter had a bit of a Tomboy side to her. She wasn't afraid to get muddy/dirty. Then there was her artistic side that was blooming, both Kim and Joe great artists, and she definitely was taking on that talent as well.
I can't imagine the loss Joe, Kim, Colin and Jolee feel on a constant basis in their lives. It is just really hard to think about and imagine!
I pray today that Daryn is showered with Love from her family. That her great grandparents that are with her right now will just BE with her until her parents arrive. I pray for her family here, that they are also showered with love from God and that they are renewed each day with a sense of HOPE that will get them through another day!
Love you Daryn!!
aunt mindy
Sunday, January 18, 2009
SMILE for Daryn
Don't cry because it's over.
Smile because it happened.
Dr. Seuss
A picture of Daryn's family cat that she loved so....... Willow
(with Dr. Seuss I was thinking, The Cat in the Hat, that is why I added a picture of Daryn's cat)
Of course IT is not over, but it is a loss greater than words could ever say. Sometimes we focus too much on the loss and don't sit back to realize what a blessing and gift Daryn was and still IS to our family.
If we could turn back time and change events, in an instant we would, without a doubt.
We can't.
Today I choose to smile because of Daryn being such a special part of my life.
I know we can't smile every day, because the reality is too real and too painful.
But, for today, I choose to smile, and thank God for this gift.
I often think about how much I focus on the future with my own kids. I sometimes think......... I can't wait for when they are old enough to play basketball in High School. Or I can't wait for when they are old enough to walk to their friends house. I can't wait for the day I feel OK with them riding their bike around the block. Or I can't wait to see what profession they choose. I can't wait to see their dance recital. Or I can't wait until they can tie their shoes............................. I just can't wait.
I spend so much time thinking about these future events that I don't take time to enjoy today. The dance recital that was just displayed on the kitchen floor. The talk we had last night about "..... so we can talk to God anytime?" . The moment when my son wrapped his arms around me and said "I don't want you to fall mom"........ The argument between my kids over who gets the last cookie (although unpleasant, it ended in a lesson on sharing). All of these moments that happen every day........... I just want to enjoy these "every day moments" more and stop focusing on the future. Because my children also are a gift to me.
I guess part of it is thinking about Daryn and all of the things we thought that she would accomplish in her life (and trust me they would have been great!). So the grief this family feels is not only for the 10 year old girl we all knew and loved, but for all of the things her family had thought about and talked with her about in regard to her bright future. She was such an awesome person! She wasn't just a kid, she was a person, and a very special one I might add.
What I have learned from this is to really focus on today and not tomorrow. Be thankful for TODAY, it is a gift! It's fun to look to our future and make plans, but the only thing we truly know we have is, today.
I believe although terrible things happen in the lives of those we love, God is still the one in control, and we can't fathom the plans he has for us. The one thing I do know is that the life we live on this Earth is just the very beginning. Let us live our life to praise him and thank him in ALL that we do.
I challenge each of you to enjoy every moment with your families, even if some of these are unpleasant. Sit back and let it sink in, because who knows what tomorrow will bring.
Enjoy the moments of each day.
Daryn's Aunt Mindy
Monday, January 12, 2009
Just grandma talking
I haven't written in a while. I have been wanting to share what happened to me the day after our coming together at Daryn's grave on the anniversary of her entering heaven.
I came back to clean up and pick up candles etc. The first thing I noticed was that the blue candle in the glass jar was still burning and it was burning clean without a speck of black soot in it. I was rather in awe of that. Well then I picked up and then stood over her looking down and was telling her how much I love her and missed her when looking down I saw a beautiful red dragonfly on my knee. I just stopped and said "Oh Daryn, I know that you love me too."I will say honestly that I have never in my life seen so many beautiful colorful red and royal blue and purple and other colors of dragonflys as I did last year. I will take it as Gods gift to us and I thank Him. I think that if I pay attention and look and be open that God tries to comfort me. I just need to try to stay open to it. So many people blessed me this weekend and they don't even know it. I call them my messengers unaware. Thank you again God. I guess when you are at the bottom of the pit then He sends in the troops.
Mindy brought the Christmas tree from school to our house and set it in the living room and plugged in the beautiful blue lights. So many beautiful ornaments and messages on it from her friends. In such an short time she was loved at Coopersville. No surprise to me because she was love personified in a little blonde girl with huge blue eyes and a smile that could light the world. Well I of course cried a lot by that beautiful tree but I have grown to love it. At our family Christmas celebration, we helped all the kids make ornaments with a note to Daryn glued inside just from them to her. Aunt Holly hung them on the tree. I had written a little prayer to say after all of the ornaments had been hung but couldn't do it as we had a real hard time when Joe came to drop off Colin and Jolee. So I think I will write it now.
Father God, Dearest Jesus, Holy Spirit,
Help us to celebrate the birth of Jesus, our Saviour, with Daryn's spirit of love and happiness, ready for fun with each other, our family, everyone that she loved so much. Wrap you arms around Joe and Kim this afternoon, and bless them and let them feel our love for them. Now Daryn is with Jesus, the greatest lover of all. So if she is with Jesus now then she is with us now too because Jesus is with us. So dear Lord Jesus, lift us up and hold us high in your love until we are all together in Heaven with You. So in Daryn's spirit we will celebrate Christmas today, the birth of our saviour. Amen
I would love to say that I am healing. I probably am but don't feel it. I will say that I am very thankful to God for the little gifts that He gives me. My life is forever changed and it will be a long time before I find myself again I think. I miss that little girl in so many ways. It seems that I have a hole in my soul and I think that in time God will fill it up. I have a big family that I love and must live for them. I think Daryn would scold me for a lot of things right now. She would set me straight I'm sure. Peace and love to all that reads this. Oh and I wanted to say that Aunt Mindy has obviously been touched by the holy spirit in setting up this blog and the things that she has shared. Thank you Mindy, another one of God's messengers.
I came back to clean up and pick up candles etc. The first thing I noticed was that the blue candle in the glass jar was still burning and it was burning clean without a speck of black soot in it. I was rather in awe of that. Well then I picked up and then stood over her looking down and was telling her how much I love her and missed her when looking down I saw a beautiful red dragonfly on my knee. I just stopped and said "Oh Daryn, I know that you love me too."I will say honestly that I have never in my life seen so many beautiful colorful red and royal blue and purple and other colors of dragonflys as I did last year. I will take it as Gods gift to us and I thank Him. I think that if I pay attention and look and be open that God tries to comfort me. I just need to try to stay open to it. So many people blessed me this weekend and they don't even know it. I call them my messengers unaware. Thank you again God. I guess when you are at the bottom of the pit then He sends in the troops.
Mindy brought the Christmas tree from school to our house and set it in the living room and plugged in the beautiful blue lights. So many beautiful ornaments and messages on it from her friends. In such an short time she was loved at Coopersville. No surprise to me because she was love personified in a little blonde girl with huge blue eyes and a smile that could light the world. Well I of course cried a lot by that beautiful tree but I have grown to love it. At our family Christmas celebration, we helped all the kids make ornaments with a note to Daryn glued inside just from them to her. Aunt Holly hung them on the tree. I had written a little prayer to say after all of the ornaments had been hung but couldn't do it as we had a real hard time when Joe came to drop off Colin and Jolee. So I think I will write it now.
Father God, Dearest Jesus, Holy Spirit,
Help us to celebrate the birth of Jesus, our Saviour, with Daryn's spirit of love and happiness, ready for fun with each other, our family, everyone that she loved so much. Wrap you arms around Joe and Kim this afternoon, and bless them and let them feel our love for them. Now Daryn is with Jesus, the greatest lover of all. So if she is with Jesus now then she is with us now too because Jesus is with us. So dear Lord Jesus, lift us up and hold us high in your love until we are all together in Heaven with You. So in Daryn's spirit we will celebrate Christmas today, the birth of our saviour. Amen
I would love to say that I am healing. I probably am but don't feel it. I will say that I am very thankful to God for the little gifts that He gives me. My life is forever changed and it will be a long time before I find myself again I think. I miss that little girl in so many ways. It seems that I have a hole in my soul and I think that in time God will fill it up. I have a big family that I love and must live for them. I think Daryn would scold me for a lot of things right now. She would set me straight I'm sure. Peace and love to all that reads this. Oh and I wanted to say that Aunt Mindy has obviously been touched by the holy spirit in setting up this blog and the things that she has shared. Thank you Mindy, another one of God's messengers.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
If you read the previous post this will make better sense; but also just another awesome parallel to humanity that helps us to understand the process of life, the miracle that God created, I stand in awe!
"The dragonfly begins its life as an egg. Adult female dragonflies lay their eggs in water. After about two weeks, the eggs hatch and an immature dragonfly, or nymph, emerges. The nymphs are not pretty like the adults. They have tiny wings and a large lower lip, which they use to catch their prey (often mosquito larvae). Dragonfly nymphs live in the water. As they grow, they molt (shed their skin). Nymphs of some species may take as long as three years to mature. When the dragonfly nymph reaches maturity, it crawls out of the water onto a plant stem. Then its skin begins to split. First the head, then the thorax, then the legs, and then the wings of an adult dragonfly emerge. Soon the newly emerged dragonfly is able to fly. The process takes about two hours. It takes about two days before the adult dragonfly's beautiful colors are fully developed. Adult dragonflies live only a few months."
info from the below website:
http://entertainment.webshots.com/photo/2480486740015598663Xguswh
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